Don’t Compare Yourself to Others in Your College Essays
by Michelle
From last week’s post on emotional growth, Essay Narwhals should understand how it is important to show maturity and understanding of your own emotions. The topic for today’s post will jump off of that idea as a launching point.
Many students know that they wish to show the best sides of themselves in a college essay.
However, there is one simple trap that many students fall into when trying to do their best to hype themselves up.
They compare themselves to others in their college essays.
One student who was working on an essay wanted to show how good they were at science by writing ‘instead of spending my time partying or being lazy like other students, I spent nights reviewing my AP Bio textbook.’ Another student, who wanted to write about dealing with a bad friend, wanted to write how they were much more nicer than their unkind friend in their first draft.
The impulse to write in this kind of way by comparing your own self to others is understandable.
But don’t do this.
Even if the daily environment around you relentlessly focuses on comparing yourself to others—in terms of GPA, or competition awards, or sports achievements—you don’t want to try to make yourself stand out by putting other people down in a negative way.
Implying that other people are lazier than you or focusing on how bad someone seems in contrast to yourself can give readers (and colleges!) a bad impression of yourself as a petty, judgmental person—which is not the impression that you want to portray.
So how can you rewrite your essay to put yourself forward in a good light, without such comparisons?
1.Just focus on yourself
You can cut out comparisons to other peers or students entirely from your essay, and keep the spotlight in your writing on your own personality and values.
The student in the first example could do this by cutting out mentions of lazy students entirely, and just describing their favorite deep interest in researching Biology through reading up on the science behind a Mythbusters episode.
2.Can talk about others, but in a way that focuses on your own person and your own actions in a situation.
If the other person is an important part of the essay—say, about a complicated relationship with a family member, or a conflict with a friend—it is possible to write about them, though it has to be done carefully. Instead of lingering on how negative the other person was, it would be sufficient to give a brief example of one or two of the other person’s actions—and then just describe your own emotional reaction and later actions without villainizing the other person.
This style will show you taking an active charge towards your life, without seeming excessively negative about the other person.
For instance, one student once wrote about how their mother disapproved of them doing sports as an unfeminine activity. Then, instead of continuing to keep the whole essay focused on their parent’s disapproval, the writer turned the entire second half of the essay to how they found community and understanding through friendships with their supportive sports team instead.
3.Compare yourself to others, but in friendly or thoughtful way that appreciates other’s differences or different viewpoints.
It’s generally better to use this strategy for more lighthearted topics than serious ones.
For example, I would not want to use this strategy about important political convictions or values you have, like whether racism is bad or whether insulin prices should be raised 500% just to earn even more profits for a company while sacrificing people’s health.
However, you can use this style to compare yourself to others for areas like personality types, movie interests, or differing viewpoints in philosophy discussed in class, to highlight your strengths and your appreciation of the diversity around you.
One student might dislike romantic dramas and prefer suspenseful dramas for example, but they could also write about how they learned in a class on the history of media about the psychological benefits and social commentary that romantic dramas could carry, and grew a better appreciation for them.
Another student may write about finding themselves in a new cultural environment, such as while volunteering or when making new friends, and they can write about things they found different and surprising at first, and some of the new values from their surroundings that they learned from and did like.
As Essay Narwhals swimming in a pod, it’s natural to want to show off who has the fastest swimming ability or the highest jumps. But see how you can better show off to colleges instead by making yourself the star of your own story without bitter comparisons to your companions.